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While desire for sex motivates most men visiting a gay sauna or SoP venue, this can often be misinterpreted as a blanket desire for any meaty appendage that swings their way.Īs a sex-positive, queer-identifying male I’m proud of our community’s long history of sexual transgression and liberation. The scene then freezes, rewinds, and plays again the next time I visit.įor many men gay saunas are a meat market, and a hall pass allowing them to make unprovoked sexual advances with little concern for personal boundaries or consent. I eventually connect consensually with one or three men and rinse off the memories in a shower afterwards, before heading home.
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One guy even grabs my arm, and despite my attempts to actively move away, forcefully pulls me into the room he’s been waiting in, encouraging me that he’ll “only be two minutes, promise.” I feel someone grab me from behind, and am confronted by someone game enough to walk right up to me and reach out for my dick. I enter, take my clothes off, and begin exploring like a tourist as though it were my first time.Īs I walk past bodies belonging to men of various sizes, ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual identities, I’m invariably touched and groped by a handful of them. The scene opens: interior, inner-city sauna, night. Yet in a space utilised for anonymous and fleeting, no-strings-attached sex, the lines of consent can often become lost in the darkness.Įach of my gay sauna visits follow a similar formula, playing out like a scene in Groundhog Day. Two things that should go hand in hand, or hand in something else, inside a sex-on-premises (SoP) venue.